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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122389">Skeleton keys for my brain</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyDreamKth/pseuds/sunkinq'>sunkinq (WhyDreamKth)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff and Angst, Hands, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I skip it, Lots of it, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Myth &amp; Folklore, Mentions of obsessive thoughts, Miscommunication, Miya Atsumu is a Little Shit, Mythology References, No characters were harmed in the making of this fic, Not Beta Read, OOC Miya Atsumu, Out of Character, POV Miya Atsumu, Pining Miya Atsumu, Post-Canon, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Pro Volleyball Player Miya Atsumu, Pro Volleyball Player Sakusa Kiyoomi, Religious Imagery &amp; Symbolism, Sad, Threats of Violence, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Volleyball, Volleyball Dorks in Love, galatea - Freeform, no actual fighting happens in this fic, this is a heavily edited glorified vent piece, this is just sad, vent - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:27:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,590</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122389</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyDreamKth/pseuds/sunkinq</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>DONT READ I ACCIDENTALLY PUBLISHED THIS<br/>"I want to worship you."<br/>"Why?"<br/>"Do I need a reason to?" </p><p>Atsumu chooses Kiyoomi as his next obsession.</p><p>(read tags)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Skeleton keys for my brain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hiii, technically this is a vent but later on when I saw it I decided it was kind of okay enough to post. It's heavily edited but I kept some of the more weird parts in just so I have them. The venting part was across multiple days and all for different reasons, if you look close enough you can probably figure out what happened haha but if not that's ok too. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>x</p><p> </p><p>I know you want to, he thought. I know you want to do it. Come on! Do it. It screamed in his brain, begging for him to set the chain reaction off. <br/>" What yer up to? Ye  think you'd win? Ha don't be stupid. Yer problem wasn't being short, ye're just a shit volleyball player." the blond Miya says, smirking. He knew that was going to piss the orange headed volleyball player off. He wanted to see him mad. He craved it, just because. Hinata gets that weird look. He tilts his head, like an invitation. Atsumu wished he could snap that pretty neck so he could see what's underneath. He bets its bird feathers. He asked ‘Samu that once, he said to fuck off, but he thinks he meant that he took the best bet and he couldn't beat it. That's fine by him, it just means he won. <br/>Atsumu likes winning, it made him feel like he was in control. <br/>Hinata's face flushed with anger, he looked at Atsumu with fire in his eyes and then he attacked. </p><p>The news of the fight went around like wildfire. By the end of the day everyone in the volleyball circle had heard of the fight between the two members of the MSBY Black Jackals. While both of them had made up a few hours after the fight, Hinata apologizing for the bruises he gave the other and Atsumu shrugging it off and saying he was sorry for his words and the practice was just getting stressful for him and he didn't really mean any of the words he said. ( In the back of Atsumu's head he knew he was lying but he didn't want to cause more drama, one crumbling relationship was enough.) Even though they both made up and were now on speaking terms, others still whispered while looking their way. Apparently their manager had forgotten to put out a public statement. In hindsight maybe that was to be expected, but to let someone's reputation dwindle however, was not good. He really expected better from someone who's paid to take care of them, though Atsumu was too tired to care at this point.</p><p> </p><p>That night Atsumu turned off his phone before Kageyama could spam the string of weirdly defensive texts about how Hinata was not his boyfriend. He threw his phone on to his bed and hopped in, praying that the angels would kiss him goodnight, lulling him to sleep. Maybe if he paid for his crimes in his dreams, they would let him off in reality, but rarely did that happen to people. He’s heard from others you see, the truth of the matter is the more you pray the less you’ll really get your wish. Praying does nothing when the problem is you. </p><p>xx</p><p> </p><p>His hands. Miya liked them, they were interesting. Sakusa would always hide them, whether it'd be by putting them in his pocket or by wearing gloves. The only time he got to see his beautiful, crunchy looking hands was when he played. The way his hands hugged the ball as he spiked, it made Miya want to set for this black haired man even more. Even Hinata's weird bird like movements didn't seem interesting anymore. Miya's brain had a new obsession, and he wondered how much he could piss the man off before he crossed the line. He knew the  germaphobic man didn't take any of his shit, so maybe this time it'd end up different. </p><p>Atsumu had noticed that Sakusa barely ever high fived or touched anyone and he understood why. If he was as gorgeous as him, he wouldn't touch mortals either. But he wanted it, he wanted Sakusa to touch him. To feel his hands around his neck, to see his face before he was choked to death. But for now, he’ll take a high five, a pat in the shoulder or anything else. Some people just aren’t comfortable with murder, and that’s o-kay.</p><p>Miya stares at his hands, the same hands that Omi kun touched. He felt cathartic. His apartment suddenly felt like it wasn't worthy of having Kiyoomi in its presence. He got up from the floor, away from the mess he created while he freaked out. He'd never tell Omi kun that of course, he doesn't need to know what he does to him. Atsumu felt his face flush, he suddenly felt too hot and the room looked like it needed cleaning. The room was fine, not entirely tidy but not completely messy. But a room like that would not satisfy Omi kun, he thought. He started to clean up the apartment, it's the least he could do. Taking in the whole apartment, he decided to start in the bedroom. No that wasn't for a specific reason, get your head out the gutter. </p><p>Sakusa doesn't have the heart (he doesn't really know why he does have a heart then) to say no to him, especially after all he's done for him. Perhaps he was being selfish, he could keep this to himself right? No one else has to see this sweet and vulnerable side of Atsumu, it just doesn't fit his image. When Atsumu wakes up in the morning, he will thank Sakusa for keeping this side of him a secret, right? He consoles himself, he was doing Atsumu a favour.</p><p> </p><p>He liked him. Holy shit, he liked him back. Atsumu was stunned. Kiyoomi had held his hand AND blushed. His flush face was still in his mind, it made him feel giddy. He felt a rush in his stomach he's never felt before. Suddenly he felt powerful, he had gotten past the barriers that stopped so many before him. Sakusa's fans would probably die of jealousy if they found out, with that information he kind of wanted to leak the news. Unfortunately Atsumu knew it would make the raven head mad, so he stopped himself from doing so. He stopped his train of thought. Had he just caught himself caring? He was shocked, that had never happened before. Since when did he ever care what anyone else thought of? Maybe he really was falling in love with him. Atsumu shook that thought off his head, it was a line he really didn't want to cross. </p><p> </p><p>"Listen to me!" he yelled out. His eyes looked glossy, and a bit red. He was panting from running so far to catch up to the fake blond. Unfortunately for him, the other man was nowhere to be seen. When you grow up with a twin, you learn to disappear when you want alone time.</p><p>For the rest of the week, Atsumu ignored Kiyoomi. The latter didn’t know how to feel. Afterall, wasn’t this what he wanted? Volleyball practices were torture for him, he wanted to talk to him, to ask if he meant what he said, but he couldn’t. He had no right after what had happened. He tried staying away, but Kiyoomi never could leave business unfinished. He had a habit, he’ll finish what he started. </p><p>After practice he walked up to Atsumu again, asking him to hang out the day after. Atsumu declined saying he had to help his brother (a lie) with his onigiri testing (another lie) and he intended to keep his promise because he broke it last time and sumo got mad (not a complete lie but he's blown off Samu multiple times for girls and at this point he's used to it so it really shouldn't matter) </p><p>Just as the touch of Midas turned things to gold, Atsumu stopped breathing as Kiyoomi caressed his cheek with such tenderness he didn’t know he could exhibit. And then he couldn't think straight- probably because he wasn't. He held his breath, because this was the time everything came to stop.</p><p>"Hey Galatea" <br/>"Atsumu stop calling me that, I know you only do that to compare yourself to a king."<br/>Atsumu stopped talking to the cashier and looked back at Kiyoomi who already had coffee in his hand, "You know that's not why I call you that tsum tsum," <br/>"Shut up I don't want to think of the other reason" <br/>"You know I'm righ- oh yes thank you have a good day" Atsumu took out his wallet and paid for his coffee.</p><p>Sometime along the conversation, Sakusa had figured out that Atsumu was really good at deflecting, but he couldn't give up now. After all he had come so far for him, he wouldn't give up now.</p><p>He smiled at him when he thought he wasn't looking. Unfortunately for him, everyone else was. </p><p>The internet exploded that day, freaking out over some sort of smile that barely could be called a smile. But the netizens ate that up, to them, it was a miracle. The managers didn’t know what to do, but they still called the boys in, and congratulated them.<br/>‘’The fans are eating this up, for once we have good press. Keep it up boys!’’<br/>The boys in question looked at each other,’’ now what?’’ was evident on their face but before they could open their mouth they were kicked out of the office. </p><p> </p><p>They didn't know what to tell the team, maybe nothing at all. After all this wasn't a big deal, it's not worse than dating from your rival team at least. (Hinata couldn’t relate)</p><p>That night when Atsumu goes to sleep, he thinks of the man in his arms and for once in his life, his obsession has led him to peace.</p>
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